Archive | November, 2013

Some Thoughts On Books

6 Nov

Books are patient, books are kind. They do not envy, they do not boast, they are not proud. They are not rude, they are not self-seeking, they are not easily angered, they keep no record of wrongs. Books do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. Books always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.

Nah, I’m just kidding. Books are horrible vengeful things that will steal your heart and imprison it forever within their pages. They judge you for not reading them, they compete to see who has the brightest colors on their bindings, and boy do they gloat when they’re pulled off a shelf instead of others. They sneer at lesser books, they shove new books off the shelf, they note our every touch and page turn, and so help you if you dogear that page. Books take great pleasure in reducing readers to quivering puddles of emotional distress. They won’t protect you from reality, won’t trust that you’ll save them from a fire, won’t hope that you’ll return to reread them, and as is the nature of the universe, won’t persevere throughout the years.

Really, books are the antithesis of love.

And I intend to love the evil right out of them until the day I die. (And probably for a few years after that, as a ghostly book guardian.)


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