Being Fancy

6 Nov

I just did a very fancy thing.

I ordered over-priced salmon from room service, just because I could.

Have I mentioned lately how awesome my job is?

Let me explain a bit more.  This week is my company’s annual client conference, which means I’m in a swanky hotel in San Antonio (I consider any hotel with a soft bed and a cool shower/bath swanky though, so keep that in mind).  It also means I get a per diem to eat.

For me, eating away from home can be very troublesome.  Being allergic to wheat & caffeine means having to be very careful at unfamiliar restaurants.  Being allergic to alcohol as well means networking events can get real awkward real fast.  Luckily, my new co-workers have either been totally cool with my allergies or haven’t even asked.  I guess the fact that they’re mostly all nurses has a lot to do with this.

But back to the point of this post- my doing a fancy thing in a fancy hotel.  It got me thinking- what kinds of fancy things would I do if I either a) had an unlimited expense account, or b) had money of my own?  I’ve come up with a list.  I call it: “Katie’s List of Fancy Things To Do When The Money Finally Comes Rolling In.”  (I need to work on that title some more.)

Katie’s List of Fancy Things To Do When The Money Finally Comes Rolling In

1. Live in a place with a really cool bathtub.  I love water- bath water, sea water, lake water, pool water, even rain water- it doesn’t matter.  I just love the feeling of being in water, where everything seems a little bit lighter and a lot cleaner.  To that end, I am a big fan of a quality bathtub.  I’ve had to suffer most of my life with a functional-yet-flawed bathtub.  When I have money (and am living in a place where bathroom renovations are approved), the first project will be building the perfect bath.

Not saying it has to be exactly like this… but it’s not a bad starting point either.

2. Have a bunch of bunnies.  No, definitely not those kinds of bunnies.  I’m talking about the actual four-legged fuzzy-eared lagomorph-order-belonging woodland creatures.  I already have one.  I would like more.  Specifically, a few of the Angora-variety.  Let’s face it- I’m never going to be an exceptionally fashionable person.  I often go out in public with cat, dog, rabbit, or some combination of the three’s fur on my clothes.  So, if I had Angora rabbits, I could at least once be wearing an Angora sweater.  (That was a long way to go for a pretty lame joke, but there it is.)  Also, look at these things!  How could you not want one?

These are real bunnies. Seriously. I’ll give you a moment to stop squealing at the cuteness.

3. Stay at swanky hotels.  No more Holiday Inns for me.  When I have money, it will be only hotels with “plaza” in the name for me, because nothing says “I’m a swanky hotel” more than having the word “plaza” in the title.  It’s true.  In fact, no hotel can call itself a plaza hotel unless it contains at least one room with a view not obstructed by a building/parking lot/ dumpster (and I definitely didn’t just make that rule up.)

You can just feel the swankiness, can’t you?

That’s it for the list.  I could add a lot more, but my dinner just arrived.  At my door.  On a rolling cart.  Naturally, I can’t let my dinner just sit around and wait for me.  A dinner this nicely presented deserves to be eaten right away.  So, I’m going to be totally fancy and eat my room service dinner while watching TV.  You know, as the fancy people do.

My dinner showed up better dressed than I ever am.

The rest of you plebeians can enjoy  your non-fancy dinners and your election results on your non-fancy TV sets.

You fellow Americans did remember to vote today, right?  Fancy or not, it’s important.

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