Blog Search Term Challenge

19 Jul

Over the last few days, I’ve had at least three conversations with various people about the search terms people use to find our blogs.  Most of the time, I win.  This is largely because people insist on Googling “transvestite panda cub” and winding up on this picture:

 I wonder if the zoo knows?

However, I want to give the internet a chance to beat me.  If you have a blog that tracks search terms, and you have a term or two that you think is a real winner, post it in the comments below.  You can submit as many as you want, but they must all be real search terms used to find your blog.

Most bloggers announce a giveaway at the point.  As in, “if your search term beats mine, I’ll send you this!”  For those of you who read this blog regularly, you’ll already know that isn’t going to happen.  I don’t have anything to give away (except for a VHS copy of Dinotopia, and I’m not sure there’s anyone out there who wants that).

But what I can do is write.  So, I offer this: I will write a short story using the best three search terms submitted by you, my dear readers, as central plot points.  (This idea comes from a conversation on Twitter a few days ago, in which the viability of a children’s book about transvestite panda cub with self-esteem issues and misadventures with Spanx was discussed.  Sadly, that book may never see publication.)

So, here’s how this will work.  Post your favorite weird search term in the comments below, or tweet them to me @kdidd.  Next Thursday, 7/26, I’ll put up a poll of my 10 favorites.  You’ll have a week to vote.  On August 2nd, I’ll announce the winners (and try to convince someone to take Dinotopia off my hands).  On August 9th, I’ll post the story.

Start posting those search terms.  Someone found my blog this morning by searching “how to stop bugs from eating my brain.”  The bar has been set high, ladies and gentlemen, the bar has been set high.

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7 Responses to “Blog Search Term Challenge”

  1. Ryan Anderson (@gtryan) July 19, 2012 at 11:26 am #

    People have come to my site on each of the following search terms
    3 – “king solomon porcupines”
    3 – “crackulous”
    2 – “i hate princeton review”

  2. kim July 19, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    it won’t beat ‘king solomon porcupines’ but my funniest is ‘zombie that ate dale’ which works well with your ‘stopping bugs from eating my brain’…..

  3. Lisa July 19, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    This is a great idea! I actually have two posts about my search engine terms. Most of them have the word “penis” or “vagina” in them. (mention the word penis in one post and all hell breaks loose) Here are four of my favorite (“clean”) ones…
    “stuck on my butt”
    “second toe longer than the first smell em”
    “seducing me with furry slippers”
    “is it bad if someone accidentally sees hairy armpit”

  4. Jesse Libecap (@jlibecap) July 19, 2012 at 6:08 pm #

    “correct spelling of inexcuaseable”
    “did god get hurt on his two elbows”
    “how bad is tartar sauce”
    “i want to get eaten”
    “love to breastfeed my husband”

    These are all searches we got on The World 4 Realz

  5. sydneyaaliyah July 19, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    I have ‘jim meddick monty’, ‘arabian love miss u so much pic’, and ‘arrow slinging elfs’.
    What? haha.

  6. Becky July 19, 2012 at 10:26 pm #

    Ha!
    Nice Katie.
    One that gets used repeatedly for mine is “I love a port wine cheese ball” — and really, who doesn’t?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Blog Search Term Challenge, Part II « Losing My Cents - July 27, 2012

    […] promised, here are the 8 finalists in the Blog Search Term Challenge (click that link if you missed part I).  The finalists are all actual search terms used to find […]

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