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To Eppy

30 Jul

Dear Eppy,

I often wondered what your last day with me would be like.  Would I know that it was almost over?  Would we spend the day snuggling and playing? Or would it come unexpected, on a normal day, or even a day when I was annoyed with you for chewing something of mine up yet again?  Would I have time to say goodbye?  Or would I have to make the most difficult decision of my life?  Most importantly, would you know and would you be in pain?

As it turned out, it was so much more unexpected and yet so much better.  I did get to say goodbye, and we did have two wonderful last days together.  We spent time snuggling and playing, you got extra treats and attention, and none of it had the cloud of death hanging over us.  Then again, maybe you knew it was coming.  You were always so much smarter than me.

But now I’m left here alone, and while I know each day will get easier, I can’t stop the tears that come with every small reminder.  Your cage has been cleaned, your favorite toys packed away, and your treats and hay sent to the guinea pig next door. (I’m sorry about that last part- I know you didn’t care much for Maisy, but I couldn’t bear to throw away the yogurt chips and baked pretzels that you loved so much.)

Now it’s the little things that get me.  When my mom asked me to come to the house tonight so that I wouldn’t be alone, my first thought was, “I can’t- someone has to feed Eppy.”  Then I sat on the edge of the couch and cried.  When I left the apartment tonight, I did so with my usual refrain of “bye Eppy, be a good girl.” It stopped me cold in the doorway when I realized that you weren’t there to hear it anymore.  I cried the whole way down the stairs.  The dog rustled her wicker toy basket tonight and it sounded like you chewing on your hay basket.  I looked over automatically, but you weren’t there. (And neither was the hay basket.  That also went to Maisy.  I’m not apologizing for this one though- you know how she felt about it.)  No one now will come bounding around the corner of the couch to frolic with a toy.  No one now will wait until I fall asleep on the couch to leap onto my chest.  No one now will be there for a snuggle when the day has been hard and people have been too much, and that is the part that hurts the most.

But maybe I’m not completely alone.  You did tolerate the hundreds of photos that I took of you over the years, especially the ones when I made you wear a scarf.  (Don’t think I missed the thinly-veiled hatred in your eyes at those times.)  Those photos tell your life story better than I ever could, and they remind of who exactly you were.

You always knew how to pose for a camera, even at 9 months old.

You were the one who knew how to pose for a photo, even at 9 months old.

IMG_20130903_093331_742-1 Eppy hide and seek

10 months, 4 years, or 7 years old- it didn't matter. You always won at hide-and-seek. If there was a box or a blanket, you would be inside it.

You were the world champion at hide-and-seek.

You really were smaller than your food bag when you came home with me.

You were smaller than your food bag when you first came home with me.

begging for food

And thus began a life-long obsession with treats, from 2 years old to 8 years old. Not even a table could keep you from your treats.

But you were also the one who always knew where to find a treat.

Once I made you wear a scarf and pose for a holiday photo.

You were the one who once had to wear a scarf and pose for a holiday photo.

Ok, maybe I did that twice. But even though I waited 6 years in between the two, you didn't forget.

Ok, maybe you had to do that twice. But you never forgot the injustice of it, even though the two events took place 6 years apart.

You loved to be outside

You loved to be outside.

But inside was OK too if there was a sunbeam to sleep in.

But inside was OK too if there was a sunbeam to sleep in.

Eppy thieving

Sometimes you stole things that didn’t belong to you.

And you apologized when you stole things.

But you always apologized afterwards.

You could snuggle with the best of them.

You could snuggle with the best of them.

You were my constant companion, always welcome even when it made working difficult.

And you were my constant companion, always welcome by my side even when it made working difficult.

Now as you move onto the rabbit heaven perfectly made for you- a place of endless grass and puzzle balls to break into- know that a very large piece of my heart goes with you.  Rest well, my bunny girl.  There will never be another like you.

Eppy last day

Epinephrine “Eppy” Anderson 2005-2014

 

364 Days

24 Apr

Exactly one year ago, I somehow convinced a good friend to help me turn a blank wall into something better.

Last night, we finished it.  And it is glorious.  11 feet tall, 13 feet wide, and guaranteed to make the leasing office feel really guilty for having to paint over it if I ever move out.  What more could you ask for in a wall mural?

A photographic progression of the wall over the last 12 months, you say?  Well, you are in luck!  I happen to have just that ready for you today. Continue reading

Handling Instructions

2 Mar

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As I sit in my apartment on the eve of yet another out-of-state trip, doing what seems like endless loads of laundry but is really only three, I find myself contemplating a world where people come with the same sort of handling instructions as clothes.

Think about it. How much easier would social relationships be if you could just flip over someone’s tag and see how best to keep them from unraveling? A peek at the back of their shirt, and you’d know if this person is your new BFF or your mortal enemy.

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See “machine wash cold” on a tag, and you know that you have a sturdy person. They’re made from a durable fabric in a bold color and can handle life’s spins and bounces with ease.

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The ones who require warmer waters are those whose colors may run easily or who absorb stains a bit deeper. They need a bit more attention to come out clean, but they’re often the ones that we hold the closest to ourselves.

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You see “dry clean only,” and you know you’re dealing with high quality and probably high maintenance. But you also know that if properly cared for, the fabulousness will last forever.

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If you’re anything like me, the hand wash only crowd makes you nervous. These are the most fragile of the bunch- the most prone to falling apart, and the ones we want to protect the most. We wear them like the others, but then we fret over their storage. We spray them with Febreze to avoid having to decide how to wash them, for fear of doing the wrong thing and ruining them.

But these aren’t just soft- they’re the gentlest among us. The handmade-with-love ones, the treasured ones, the ones that are worth the effort it takes to care for, and the ones that can shine the brightest.

Just like with any good wardrobe, I have a mix of all these people in my life. But as I thought about what their tags would say, I started wondering what my own would read. Could I handle a tumble dryer, or would I need to be hung up? Would I need to be separated, or could I hold onto my colors in any temperature water? I’m not fancy enough to be dry clean only, but I’m not a lost sock either.

Ultimately, I think I’m a machine wash warm & tumble dry. I’m pretty secure in who I am, and I can handle the spins of life (vertigo pun intended), but sometimes I need a little extra care. And if today’s laundry adventure was any indication, there should probably be a notation to check my pockets for forgotten items, too.

While I go Google how to remove melted chapstick from jeans, I leave you with this: what would your tag read? How are you best handled by other people?

Train Or Tornado

20 Feb

20140220-221541.jpgPhoto Credit

Have I told you all about the game I invented last year called “Train or Tornado?”

It’s a great game. Anyone with any sense of awareness can play, even pets. Here’s how it works:
Continue reading

No One Tell The Student Loan Company

1 Feb

I logged into to my student loan account page this morning, prepared to do battle. I had my paychecks from January, my carefully planned out February budget, and I was ready to present my meager $200 offering to the interest gods.

Then I noticed something strange. My loan balance wasn’t what I expected it to be. On January 6th, it had been $73,333.05. I had paid $200, which I expected to just about cover the monthly interest.

Today, my balance is $69,140.73. I have no idea where the extra $4k credit came from, but for the love of interest forgiveness, no one tell the student loan company about this.

In other financial news, I’m almost done paying off a credit card bill. I’ve been working on this balance for about a year now, ever since the Great Tax Miscalculation of 2013 (still bitter about this one.) I expect to pay the last bit off next month. It’ll never have a $0 balance, as I use the card for business travel as well as personal use, but at least it won’t be my own spending driving up the balance.

After that’s done, I get to move on to paying off a medical bill. This one stemmed from my vertigo testing in the second half of 2013, and it has been a pain in the you-know-where to deal with. My insurance company and the billing department can’t agree on who owes what, and I’ve had very tense calls with both. If they can’t sort themselves out by March (& find the $167 in payments they lost track of), they’re going to hate me even more than they do now, because I’ll have that much more time to sit on the phone with them, reading them back the terms of their contracts.

If there’s one piece of advice I can offer, it’s always read the entire contract. You never know when you’ll need to close a loophole into a noose to get someone to honor the terms.

Once these two bills are gone, I’ll be back on track with paying off my student loans. However, if this $4k mystery credit stands, I’ll only be $1100 off my goal for all of 2014.

Seriously, no one tell the student loan company.

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Bring On The Snow

27 Jan

I live in Georgia.

There is a 100% chance of snow tomorrow.

Naturally, it’s like the apocalypse is coming.

(Actually, that’s not accurate. The apocalypse would be more orderly.)

In any case, I already had milk and I can’t eat bread, so I didn’t join in the mass social experiment that is the grocery store before a snowstorm.

Instead, I ran for the library.

A girl’s gotta be prepared, after all.

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See you all after the thaw. If the ramen holds out, that is.

The New Couch

2 Jan

The new couch is here. It was delivered today within the appointment window, in perfect condition, by a very professional team, and without any incident to the walls, doors, or other features of the apartment complex.

Hey, they can’t all be blog-worthy stories.

To make up for this, here’s a picture of the new couch. It’s a very grown-up looking sort of couch, which is unfortunate as it’s destined for a life of being sprawled upon and subjected to bad television, video games, and the rabbit.

I guess even couches can’t win ‘em all.

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